Energy leak: Ambivalence

In January I wrote to you about energy leaks and taking on your personal energy audit. I’ve been on one of my own lately. January and February were big release months on my end.

Ambivalence is a huge energy leak. How many things do you have hanging around that are 1/2 finished, bits of information for a project you were thinking of doing some day or an idea that rolls around in your head as a wish or a goal you never quite get around to pursuing?

I just came across an article regarding March’s theme of commitment.

What are your commitments?

Are you a master at “keeping everything just in that place of  ‘not quite there’…due to the fear of being trapped or failure…”?

Her antidote is spot on:

“What is actually true is that there is great freedom once you commit to something. Commitment allows you to release the ambivalence and resistance that takes so much emotional and psychological energy and it gives the universe something to work with.”

Commitment works both ways. If you say a committed “Yes” to that someday project and start gathering resources to complete it, you feel lighter and more purposeful and the project flows.

If you honestly say “No.” to those things you think you ‘should’ do but never actually DO and probably don’t really want to do, the honesty with yourself combined with truly abandoning the idea of the task frees you up. You no longer spend energy deliberating about it (knowing you probably aren’t going to do it anyway); you can stop berating yourself every time you think of how you haven’t done it.

Need a real life ambivalence example?

I used to carry around this notion that I needed to send birthday cards to the important people in my life on time every year. I spent psychic energy feeling badly when a birthday had slipped by, felt excited when I bought cards in advance so I was a step ahead and then stupid when I found those cards still sitting in my card box months after the assigned day had passed. I spent even more energy trying to come up with a more elaborate and (hopefully) effective system to get this task done.

The truth was I wasn’t really wanting to send timely birthday cards. It was based on a perceived external expectation.

I finally got real with myself. Whether or not I send a piece of overpriced cardboard to a designated person on the specific date of their birth was not a criterion for determining my worth as a friend or family member. I committed to “No” where timely birthday card sending was concerned.

In place of this, I say yes to my version of keeping in touch, which flows naturally with how I live. I might call the person on or near their birthday. I may send a card that has no proximity to their birthday but was prompted by thinking of them and sending something just to express gratitude that they are in my life. Sometimes it’s just a quick email to touch base. I probably keep in touch better because there is no longer the botched birthday card hanging over me.

Where could you make some commitments in your life? What would change if you committed to one wish you truly want, and released one thing you’re “shoulding” about?

Namaste,

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