What if one day you just stopped trying to fix…you.
What if every time you did something in the name of improving yourself, you flipped it, turned it into a higher expression of yourself.
It’s a slippery concept. I’ve been trying to grasp it recently. However, it frequently feels like I’m trying to fix too much fixing. Blech.
Just eat the pie already.
In moments of clarity, I can take a behavior that previously was put in place to ‘fix’ myself, like eating clean healthy foods, and flip the fixing. Once in awhile it feels authentic to remind myself that I do that because it truly is caring for myself, that it makes me feel good to generally eat well.
The other side of this is the stance I take if I decide to indulge in a pleasurable morsel that is not my normal fare, such as a piece of homemade pie with fresh seasonal fruit or a slice of pizza.
The fixing attitude is that I shouldn’t have even thought about having it in the first place. This takes away from the current pleasure and sets up a pattern of angst the next time the opportunity is presented. In this attitude there’s an assumption of constant imperfection, and certainly no self trust.
Flip the Fixing
As with any pattern, this doesn’t get er…fixed, with a snap of the finger once you’ve decided to change it. But with constant attention and mindfulness it is possible to shift it.
That happens through practice. Like flexing a muscle, if you notice your thoughts and feelings when you’re in fixing mode and give them a little tweak, it will begin a habit.
“I’ve got to organize my office. I’m such a mess.” turns into “I enjoy a tidy environment and work better when I can find things.”
“I should exercise tonight, my jeans are getting tight.” becomes “I want to workout. I love feeling strong and able.”
I suspect that those little shifts will add up to a feeling of lightness and ease. Things you do because you want to feel less like burdens when they’re framed as wants not obligations based on fixing yourself.
Assuming you constantly require fixing just makes you tired and takes away your pleasure in the good things that happen everyday. What could you stop “fixing” right now and just start doing because it makes you happy?