Are you a runner?
I don’t mean pounding the pavement in high quality shoes.
There are more subtle ways that we run.
Do you find ways to run from you in your weakest, tiredest, saddest moments? Do you run away when you are anxious and bored and don’t know what to do with yourself?
Where do you run to? The fridge, the teevee? The mall?
Where do you run? What are you leaving behind when you do?
What might you find by staying awhile?
Is there fear in the answer to that?
No need to be frightened, my dear.
However, I understand if you are.
I’ve known that fear.
I’ve shed it, and keep shedding it.
I’ve helped others do the same.
It is often indescribable, the freedom in staying awhile.
Abide with yourself.
From Webster: abide
1 : To wait for
2 a : to endure without yielding
b : to bear patiently
3 : to accept without objection
When you stay awhile, you begin to trust yourself to take care. You drop the fear. It doesn’t have to look like some magical mystical moment.
Don’t run. Just be.
No screens, no to-do lists, busy-work or escapist fiction. Perhaps you’ll try a quiet walk with the sole purpose being to enjoy whatever is around you and breathe deeply into your belly. Maybe a bath or a shower or just sitting quietly and allowing. It might occur to you to scribble it all out in a journal.
It could be that actually being a runner is how you allow and release anxiety and stress. The trick is to know whether you’re running away from or toward something.
It might feel a little squirmy when you’re used to running from the uneasy. That’s ok. Breathe and allow. Accept without objection your experience, for every last niggley beautiful bit is necessary.